Relationships

Easy Ways To Communicate Better in Your Relationship

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We’ve all heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, but we may not know how to go about it. Maybe we think it’s just about saying what you mean, or maybe we think our partner should be able to read our minds. Either way, communication is so much more than that! In this post, we’ll go over some skills and practices for communicating with your partner in a way that will make your relationship stronger.

Check your body language.

The first step is to be aware of your body language. What does it communicate? Are you sending signals that get in the way of a good conversation?

If there’s any chance that your partner might be reading this article, too, consider these tips:

  • Show interest in what they’re saying by leaning in and making eye contact.
  • Be attentive by staying quiet when they’re talking and not interrupting them until they’re finished with what they have to say (unless it’s an emergency). It shows respect for their thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This is one of the most important things to remember in any relationship. Remember that your partner is always listening, even if they look like they’re not paying attention to you. There’s a reason why some people say that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” I’d also like to state that it’s okay for you to put yourself out there and be vulnerable with your partner–it will strengthen your bond and give them confidence in knowing what you need from them!

And finally, don’t forget about asking for what you want! Don’t be afraid of rejection: ask away! Asking doesn’t mean forcing someone into something; rather, it means verbally expressing how badly (or not) something makes you feel so that your partner knows exactly what types of behavior make up the kind of relationship dynamic that would work best for both parties involved (which may or may not include sex). It should go without saying but try not being afraid when talking about sex either; after all, it’s natural part about being human beings living together under one roof sharing our lives with each other every day until death do us part–so why shy away from such an important topic just because we’re afraid someone might find out?

Be an active listener.

A great way to be more open and understanding is to be an active listener. When you are listening, do not just wait for your turn to talk again. Instead of thinking about what you will say next, focus on what your partner is saying. If she has stopped talking for a moment, ask her questions like “What was your favorite part?” or “How do things look now?” These questions show that you are focused on her story and not distracted by anything else.

If he’s upset or angry with someone else, don’t judge him or criticize his behavior; just listen! Don’t interrupt him when he talks about something that concerns him—let him finish before asking any questions so he knows that he can trust in the fact that whatever happens between the two of you won’t leave this room. If a friend comes over while they’re both there (which may happen often), talk later instead of trying to compete for attention right then and there–it’ll make everything much easier if everyone gets along well enough 🙂

Be assertive.

Be assertive. This is a good place to start because it’s the middle ground between being too aggressive and being too passive. If you’re too aggressive, your partner might get defensive. If you’re too passive, they may not know what you want or need from them. Being assertive means making direct requests for what you need or want rather than leaving people guessing about your intentions. For example:

If I’m in an argument with my partner and am upset with them (and probably also mad at myself), I will often tell them how right they are when they say that something’s my fault…even though it isn’t! This is called “passive-aggressive” behavior because I’m indirectly expressing my anger while blaming myself instead of confronting the issue head on by saying “You were right.” Passive aggression can come across as bitchy and make communication awkward.

Never assume and never mind read.

The next time you’re about to jump to a conclusion about your partner, ask yourself:

  • Is there any evidence for what I assumed?
  • Can I see this from another perspective and how might it look different if I did?

When your mind is filled with assumptions, it can be hard to find the right words to communicate effectively. One way to combat this is by asking questions instead of making statements that may sound accusatory or critical.

Communication is about expressing yourself in a healthy way.

Communication is about expressing yourself in a healthy way, listening to your partner when they are doing the same, and really hearing and absorbing what the other person has to say.

When it comes to communicating with your partner, you want to be sure that you’re not just focusing on what you expect out of the conversation or trying to prove points; instead, focus on listening and understanding where they are coming from because this will help you have better conversations as well as understand each other better.

If you’re consistent and open about your feelings, your communication will improve. It’s going to take time, practice and patience with yourself and your partner, but it’s so worth the effort.

Stop trying to fix her, and just be the strong man she needs you to be.

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“I just don’t understand why she’s so unhappy. I’ve tried to give her everything she wants, but nothing seems to make her happy.”

So many men are in this same boat. It feels like you’re doing all the right things, and yet you still can’t seem to make your wife happy. You’re working hard at your job, spending time with the kids, trying to make sure everyone’s needs are being met…and yet it still doesn’t feel like enough.

I know this because I’ve worked with numerous clients who have been there. I have men coming in for coaching sessions telling me their wives would constantly be upset with them. She would get angry about the smallest things and couldn’t seem to let them go or move on from them for days (sometimes weeks). They couldn’t understand why she was so upset or what had caused it.

Once we started working together though, I helped them realize that their reactions were actually causing more problems than they should have been. Her yelling at them wasn’t something that could be solved by them yelling back at her—in fact, that would only escalate the situation further! Instead of reacting in a defensive way when she was upset with them over something small like spilling coffee grounds on the kitchen floor while making breakfast, learning how to respond instead helped them get through those times more peacefully.

Learn the skills to communicate in a healthier way.

Sometimes, our (very human) need to fix people has us trying to fix the things that are wrong in our relationships. But if she’s not ready or willing to hear it and change, then there’s nothing you can do. You can’t force someone else into changing their behavior at any faster rate than they’re comfortable with.

These types of conversations can be tough because they often involve talking about something that makes us feel upset or angry—like when she says something out of line—but remember: this is an opportunity for growth! If you learn how to communicate in a way that doesn’t hurt your partner or make her feel attacked, then your relationship will only get stronger from here on out.

Stop reacting to situations and start learning how to respond.

Women are often frustrated by men who react to situations without taking the time to respond.

Reacting is a knee-jerk reaction to a situation but responding is thoughtful and considered. Reactions tend to be short-term solutions that only work for as long as it takes for the situation at hand to pass by (e.g., you want her attention, so you buy her something). Responses are longer-term solutions because they require more thought and planning (e.g., you want her attention, so you improve yourself instead of buying her stuff).

The thing about reacting is it doesn’t always make sense in the long run because our emotions can cloud our judgment when we’re feeling upset or hurt; so instead of reacting impulsively, remember that there are better ways of handling your feelings than just saying whatever comes into mind first!

Become the man you know you can be. The man your family needs you to be.

You’ve probably heard the advice “be your best self.”

Sure, that sounds good on paper, and it may even be one of those things you say to yourself when you feel down, but what does it really mean?

Let me tell you what I mean by being your best self: Be the man that knows what he wants and goes after it. Be the man who is confident in his decisions and doesn’t second guess himself or worry about how others will perceive him. Be a leader who is willing to make tough choices for his family, even if they don’t agree at first because they know in time, they will understand why he did what he did.

Get the tools to be more present in your life, your marriage, and your career.

When you’re present, it’s easier to walk away from temptation and focus on what matters most. You can also connect with others more effectively, leading to better relationships at work and in your community.

So how do we stay present? It starts with understanding what being present means:

  • Being fully engaged in the moment—living life intentionally instead of drifting through it
  • Focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and actions right now rather than worrying about the past or future or other people’s opinions of you
  • Keeping distractions at bay so that you can focus on what truly matters to you

Learn how to live a more fulfilled, purpose-driven life so that you can be the best version of yourself.

Hopefully, you’ve realized that trying to fix your wife’s problems is just a waste of time and energy. You need to stop trying to fix her and start focusing on yourself. If you want the relationship with your wife to be better, then all of your efforts need to go into improving yourself in order for that improvement in communication skills, emotional intelligence and self-discipline will translate into changes between both of you.

One way that I’ve found helps my clients stay focused on their own development as well as improve their relationships with others is meditation. There are many different types of meditation out there, but I recommend starting with something simple like mindfulness meditation where all you do is focus on being present in the moment without judgment or criticism about yourself or others around you.

Share your feelings so you can feel understood, even when you’re going through a tough time.

Your partner may not know that she’s hurting you or making you feel bad—she might just think she’s being herself. But if you’ve been feeling sad lately and trying to get her attention with little hints like “I’m really tired” or “I wish we could spend more time together,” those can make her feel like it’s not okay for her to be herself and have fun without worrying about your feelings.

When she does something that bothers you, it could be because she doesn’t realize how much it upsets you; or maybe she knows how much something upsets you but can’t stop herself from doing it anyway because she thinks what she’s doing is harmless (or helpful!). In any case, hearing this from someone else might help her understand what kind of things are important to keep in mind around the house next time instead of just suddenly realizing after getting yelled at again that day by someone who didn’t appreciate what was going on behind the scenes beforehand!

Create actionable steps toward living your best life.

It’s important to create a plan for how to achieve your goals and to be okay with the fact that it will take some time.

Just like any other goal, you probably won’t get there overnight. You can start by creating a list of things that need to happen in order for you to reach your goal.

Coaching can help you in many ways to make improvements in yourself and your marriage

My Coaching will help you learn to communicate in healthier ways, stop reacting to situations and start responding, get rid of your bad habits, be more present in your life, and teach you how to be a better husband and father. As I teach these things to you over time, I will also work with your wife on her own issues so that she can become the woman that she wants to be.

It’s time to stop trying to fix her and start improving yourself.

You know you can be a better husband. You know you want more from your life than just the daily grind. You want to make changes but are overwhelmed by feeling like you need the skills to dig yourself out of this hole.

Having a coach will help you learn new skills that will allow you to become the best version of yourself, which is why coaching has been so successful for so many men like you!

If any of this resonates with where you are at today, then I recommend reaching out for some support too so that I can help guide you through your journey towards living a happier family life.

Women and unhealthy relationships

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When being in love means being in pain, our relationship is not healthy. When most of our conversations with our friends are about him, his problems, thoughts, feelings, and nearly all are sentences begin with “he….,” we are loving too much.

When we make excuses for his bad moods, bad temper, or his constant put-downs, we are loving too much.

When we try to be his therapist and fix him, we are loving too much. When we read a self-help book and underline all of the passages that may help him, we are loving too much.

When we don’t like many of his basic characteristics, values, and behaviors, but we put up with all of them, thinking he will change for us, we are loving too much. When this relationship that we are in takes a toll on our emotional well-being and perhaps even our physical well-being, we are definitely loving too much.

Despite all the pain and relationship dissatisfaction, loving too much is a common experience for many women. Most of us have been in a relationship or even a marriage where this is a recurrent theme. Trying to fix our man, mold him into the person you think he could be. Trust me, and if it’s not there, it’s not getting there.

In the next few blog posts, I will explore why, once we know a relationship is not meeting our needs, we still have a hard time ending it. I will explain how loving turns into loving too much when our partner is uncaring, inappropriate, or unavailable. We will understand how our desire to love and yearning for a romantic relationship becomes an unhealthy “fix-him” addiction.

If you have ever found yourself obsessed with a man, you may have thought this obsession was rooted in fear, not love. When we love obsessively and constantly, fear being alone, fear we are unlovable and unworthy, fear abandonment, we are in an unhealthy place.

Our fears and obsessions make us love harder and stronger, and when this strategy doesn’t work (it never does), we love too much.

Your Guide For Understanding Men In Relationships

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For some men, love and relationships can be one of the most confusing aspects of life. Here’s a few insights that might help you better understand your man and your relationship.

Men can tell you how many points their favorite sports team scored yesterday. They know how to fix a leaky faucet or repair a broken transmission. But when it comes to love and relationships, they’re lost in the woods without a compass (or GPS).

Men wonder if someone likes them for their looks or money or for who they really are on the inside? What does it mean when your girlfriend cries at movies? Is there such thing as unconditional love? How do I know if she’s “the one”? Why do women behave so strangely sometimes? What attracts women to me anyway?”

These questions may seem trivial, but they have very serious ramifications: Relationships are difficult enough without having misunderstandings over communication leading you down dead ends by assuming too much about what your partner needs from you (or vice versa).

Men have difficulty communicating feelings.

Men are more comfortable with action than words. If you notice that your man is having a hard time communicating, he may be trying to avoid the topic of the conversation altogether. Men can also begin to avoid feelings and emotions in general. This can make it difficult for them to open up about themselves and their feelings, especially when they’re stressed or anxious.

Men want you both to be happy together as well as individually so if there’s something bothering him, he will let you know in his own way what’s going on inside him but only if he feels safe enough with the relationship for this communication to take place

The result is that they never learn how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way.

It’s important to recognize that not all men were taught the ability to express their emotions.

As children, boys are told things like: “Boys don’t cry.” They’re taught to suppress their feelings and pretend they don’t exist. This means that when they are older and in relationships with women who have been taught how to process their emotions (and who may have an easier time doing so), the result can be a man who doesn’t know how or simply isn’t comfortable talking about his feelings.

A man’s primary and most dangerous weakness is his defiance, his feeling he must be the one to call the shots and do the deciding.

It’s important for men in relationships to learn to communicate. And one of the most dangerous weaknesses that men have is their defiance, their feeling they must be the ones calling all the shots and deciding everything. But when he learns how to share his feelings with her, she will appreciate him more and be more understanding of what he wants out of life. It also helps him get through those times when he feels overwhelmed by circumstances beyond his control or frustrated by other people who are not being helpful (like coworkers) or even himself (because he knows better than everyone else).

So don’t just stand there—learn how to communicate!

Men desire respect above all else, more than love, more than sex.

A big part of having respect for one another is learning how to communicate effectively with each other. Men desire respect above all else, more than love or sex. Respect is something that needs to be earned by both parties if there is any hope for a relationship lasting long term.

The foundation for building a successful relationship lies within the ability of both partners being honest and open with each other so that they can build mutual trust and understanding throughout the course of their lives together as lovers/friends/spouses/partners etc…

They want to be respected for who they are as a person and for what they do.

Men need to feel respected for who they are as a person and for what they do. They want to be known as a good guy—a man of integrity, with good values and high moral standards. Men also need to feel respected for their specific skills, whether it’s raising children or fixing cars or cooking (or any number of other things).

It’s not enough simply to respect the abstract idea of a husband; you must also appreciate your husband as an individual human being with specific qualities and talents. This isn’t always easy because men sometimes go out of their way not to show off their strengths or weaknesses—but if you want your marriage to work, then both partners have got to learn how much better it feels when they’re appreciated instead of ignored.

Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce

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Here are a few of my best tips on how you can Strengthen Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce.

Commit to Your Relationship

Commitment is not a feeling. It’s a choice you make every day, and it doesn’t take much to commit to your marriage. Commitment is not an all-or-nothing proposition where you either put everything you have into the relationship or give up completely. You can still be committed to your partner when things are tough—and even when they’re going well!

Commitment is not one time thing: it’s what happens on Monday morning as well as Sunday afternoon, every day of the week, for months and years on end (hopefully). Commitment isn’t just saying “I do.” It means saying “I will.”

Commitments aren’t contracts that bind people together until they break down; they’re promises we make to each other because we want our relationship to grow stronger over time rather than weaker.

Communicate Regularly

When it comes to strengthening your marriage and avoiding divorce, communication is the key. You have to be able to communicate with your partner on a regular basis so that you can keep tabs on each other’s day-to-day activities and make sure that everything is going smoothly. In addition, communication allows you both to talk about any issues that may arise between the two of you and work them out before they become too big of a problem.

Honor and Respect Your Partner

The most important thing to remember when it comes to strengthening a marriage is honoring and respecting your partner. It may seem obvious, but this is the foundation of any successful relationship.

  • Show your partner that you care about their opinions by listening to them, even if you don’t agree with them. If one partner thinks a television show or restaurant is terrible, the other can make an effort to go along with it in order to make them happy. This shows respect for their feelings and opinions on a topic, which will go far in helping strengthen their bond together as husband/wife/partners (whatever).
  • Give your partner the benefit of the doubt when they’re under stress or feeling upset about something else going on in their life outside of work or home life together; often times when we’re having trouble focusing on ourselves due not getting much sleep lately because there’s always so much work piling up at once… our minds tend get really frazzled very quickly during these moments–this can lead us making rash decisions without thinking things through fully before acting.

Work on Wellness together

Wellness is a word that’s used to describe the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of your body. If you’re not healthy yourself, it’s hard to be in a healthy relationship with someone else. A marriage needs both partners to be on board with taking care of themselves so they can be there for each other as well as their family.

Here are some ways you can work on wellness together:

* Think about what you need to do for your own personal health.

* Make sure you get enough sleep.

* Exercise regularly.

* Eat nutritious food.

* Have fun together!

If one or both of you need help with any of these things, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Make sure both partners are doing their part when it comes to working on wellness so they can be supportive role models for each other too!

Share Financial Expectations

  • Talk about what you earn, and what you spend. Are there any areas where your expectations are diverging? Are they realistic?
  • Discuss how much money you want to save every month, and how much of that should go into retirement accounts and other long-term savings.
  • Talk about how much money each of you want to spend on a house. How much do you expect it will cost? Will either person be able to contribute towards the down payment? Who will pay for what when it comes time to move in together (or if one person moves out)? Be sure to discuss which expenses are shared equally between both partners—for example: paying the mortgage or rent; buying groceries; utilities (electricity, cell phone payments); internet access; cleaning supplies; transportation costs (gasoline/car insurance).
  • If either partner has student loans from their education before marriage, it’s helpful if both parties agree on whether or not these loans will continue being paid off outside of joint marital funds—or whether those loans should be consolidated into an individual account that’s controlled by only one spouse after marriage (and therefore bear only his/her name).

Don’t Try to Control Your Partner

In our efforts to make sense of the world, we seek to control it. But that’s not how things work in marriage. If you’re trying to control your partner and their behavior, you’re going to be disappointed. This applies even if they actually do what you want them to do!

You’ll often hear people say that they are “controlling” or “controlling-ish.” The truth is that they’ve given up on improving their relationships by trying to force change on others. Instead of working on themselves and learning how best to communicate with their partners, they focus all their energy on changing others’ actions—or trying at least!

Give Each Other Space

  • Give each other space to be themselves. This means letting your partner live their life, make their own decisions, and grow in whatever direction they choose. In order to fully love and accept your spouse, you need to allow them the freedom to be who they are without telling them how they should be or acting like a parent towards them.
  • Give each other space to pursue their own interests. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership where partners support each other’s goals and dreams; however, if you try too hard or become overbearing in your attempts at helping someone achieve their goals (e.g., pushing them into making certain choices), it can result in resentment down the road if that person feels stifled or controlled by others.
  • Give each other space for self-development on both an individual level as well as together as a couple—and this includes spending time alone doing things like pursuing hobbies that interest only one person at first (but could also lead into shared activities!), taking vacations without kids around every single time which may require some planning ahead since most family vacations happen during school breaks anyway!

Have Date Nights

Date nights are important for a healthy relationship. It’s also a great way to stay connected with your partner.

By taking the time to go out on dates, you are sending the message that you still like each other and care about each other. When people stop seeing their partners as attractive, they often start looking for ways to get out of their marriage or relationship. By having date nights regularly, you will make sure that this does not happen in your marriage because it will keep both of you from losing interest in one another and help ensure that love remains strong between both spouses

Forgive

You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. If you want to move forward in your marriage and live a long, happy life together then forgiveness is necessary! Forgiveness is vital to keeping a strong marriage because it helps create emotional space in both partners’ minds so that they can focus on their relationship rather than dwelling on past hurts.

Love is a verb and a commitment.

A great marriage is a choice. It’s not something that just happens, but something you work on every day. And like any relationship, there will be good days and bad days as well as times when things are going so well that you don’t want to see anything change. The key is to realize that love is a verb and a commitment.

Men and Women Speak a Different Language

Men and Women Speak a Different Language

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Men, I get it. You want to be a great guy, a good “catch,” and the kind of guy women want to date and marry.

But you’re stuck. You’re not sure what you should do or how to do it. And what’s worse? You feel like you’re always getting in your own way.

You try to do the right thing, but it feels like she’s always just one step ahead of you—and that can be so frustrating. We, as women, speak an entirely different language than you do.

And then there are the arguments. You know they don’t help anyone (not even her!), but somehow, they just keep happening anyway… She wants to be heard and get her feelings out, but you haven’t learned the ducking and dodging technique, so you’re left feeling attacked, shamed, and criticized. Maybe even feeling like a little boy whose Mom is telling them, once again, what they are doing wrong.

The good news is there is hope. I can teach you how to get back on track and live your best life, your best relationship and be a magnet to new women and super attractive to your existing partner.

Here are a few helpful pointers

  1. Stop arguing. Learn why arguing doesn’t work; it’s my golden rule for men… “No Arguing!” When you lose… you lose, and when you “win,” you lose? There is nothing to be gained from arguing that will benefit you in your relationship.
  2. Define your non-negotiable terms before entering a relationship with a woman. These are different for every man I coach. Learn why defining them early in the game is so important so that when things start to go south, as they do in all relationships at some point or another, there is something concrete that both parties can refer back to when making decisions about how they want their relationship

Enriching your relationships can be learned. Like all things building a bridge, making a meal, or playing an instrument, there are steps to follow that will lead you towards understanding your woman better and mastering the art of communication. In my coaching practice, I have taught all of my male clients the keys and secrets to understanding their women.

Falling in Love with Your Eyes Closed

Falling in Love with Your Eyes Closed

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Have you ever wondered why love is so complicated? There are several reasons for this. We get attracted to our potential partners through physical attraction and other values that we see in them. However, beauty is not the only element necessary for winning the attention of a potential romantic partner. We often think love is complicated because the partners we love don’t feel the same way. In other cases, we cannot figure out which type of love we feel towards them. Therefore, it is vital to develop an emotional connection by building friendship as a strong foundation before getting into a romantic relationship.

Friendship is essential in building a lasting and romantic relationship. By forming a friendship with our potential life partners, we get the opportunity to learn about their worldviews, personality traits, and other issues that we would not identify without observing them closely. Being friends means we can share in our hardships and our happiness, and in the process, we can see how they react to different changes or events in their lives. That way, we could make the right decisions on whether to take them as our life partners or not.

You would be at risk of experiencing several challenges if you decided to jump into a romantic relationship before developing a solid foundation and a connection with your identified partner. For instance, it is human to have unrealistic expectations from our partners. Therefore, forming a friendship with them before dating them is crucial for determining whether they will meet our expectations. Besides, according to research done by John Gottman, an author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, a relationship expert, and a professor at the University of Washington, being friends with the person we wish to date sets the stage for happy marriages. Also, he posits that a deep friendship is an essential predictor of physical and emotional satisfaction. 

Prejudging your mate through romantic emotions and attraction before building an emotional connection could lead to the relationship’s failure. Research has shown that developing friendships allows romantic partners to attain deep intimacy, mutual commitment, and warmth due to the emotional experience. Consequently, having an emotional experience helps us determine if the person we are attracted to could be the right or wrong lover. In other words, friendship is a good way to predict whether our future relationship with the person will work or not. The emotional intelligence that builds up when we commit to knowing each other deeply before agreeing on a romantic relationship ensures there are no conflicting needs and wants. Also, the friendship duration helps ensure our love life remains fresh with no bickering or boredom. 

Friendship first or love at first sight? We usually experience euphoric bliss at first and enjoy a feeling that keeps us wrapped up with our partners for the first few months of a relationship, if not weeks. Nonetheless, we later realize that the early blush of love could have tinted our views with time. The just-fell-in-love attraction emotions transform into surging feelings that would be challenging to develop more profound affection and attachment if not checked and understood. At first encounter, psychologists suggest that we usually experience high levels of dopamine hormones. The hormone fades with time, and the feelings of love could begin to wither. However, research also shows that friendship and emotional connections between us create the release of an oxytocin hormone that helps the fading feelings settle for a warmer attachment. In a nutshell, a lasting friendship reduces the charged excitement, and as a result, we can now enjoy a more romantically and sexually charged relationship from the prolonged platonic love! 

Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

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Do you find yourself walking around angry all the time? Do you have an inner voice that always reminds you of all your partner’s wrongdoings and mistakes? Have you become the expert in your relationship in pointing out everything that your spouse is doing wrong in your relationship? If this sounds like you, it will greatly benefit you to take the advice about forgiveness you are about to read to heart.

When you choose not to forgive, it takes a toll on your physical and emotional health. It keeps you stuck in the deepest of relationship ruts. No matter how justified you are about being upset with something your partner has done, you are the one miserable by holding onto it. When you wake up each morning thinking about what s wrong, you will walk around with low-level depression. You cannot feel joy because you are too busy being angry or disappointed.

I have worked with many couples who say they want their relationship to heal. And yet, when they are given the tools to implement this healing, they just can’t move forward. Instead of finding effective ways to get beyond the blame game, these couples continue down the road of misery. They feel their partners “must pay” for their mistakes. How very sad. Even sadder are their children immersed in this tense household with parents who care more about being “right” than happy. What lessons are they learning about love?

If any of this sounds familiar, you need to realize that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness isn’t a feeling; it’s a decision. Every day, you decide to view your partner with loving-kindness. To make peace. To make up. To make love. I can promise you that the benefits go far beyond anything you could ever imagine. Your decision to forgive will create a ripple effect of positive changes in your relationship and your life.

If you like this article, check out this one!

Happy Wife, Happy Life

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Did you know that over one million marriages will end in divorce this year, and two-thirds of these divorces will be filed for by women? What makes women so incredibly unhappy in their marriages?

In the earlier years of marriage, women are the primary relationship caretakers. They are the ones monitoring the relationships to make sure there are date nights, closeness, and connection.

Men, initially, are more concerned with the couple’s financial situation and make it their number one concern to provide for the new union. When a man is not responsive to a woman’s initiative to keep the romance alive in the relationship, they become extremely unhappy. This unhappiness leads them to complain about everything under the sun…things that need to be done around the house, responsibilities about the kids, how their free time is spent, and other things. However, when women nag and complain, men tend to turtle up and retreat into their shells. This retreating and lack of communication deteriorates a marriage even more.

After years of unsuccessfully trying to improve things, a woman eventually surrenders and convinces herself that changing her husband is impossible. She believes nothing that she can do will work, that she has tried everything. Or at least she thinks she has. No one has taught this couple how to communicate effectively. That’s when she begins to carefully plan and map out her only option, getting a divorce.

While planning her exit from the marriage, she stops trying altogether. She resigns herself to living a life of silence and no communication until she announces her desire to divorce. On the other hand, her husband now thinks his wife’s silence means everything is fine. Her shell-shocked partner thinks, “I had no idea you were unhappy.”

Then, even when her husband is willing to pay attention and undergo real and lasting changes, it’s often too late. The relationship is now in the danger zone. If you’re a woman who fits this description, please don’t give up. I have worked with so many men and seen them make amazing changes once they truly learned how to communicate and listen. I have worked with so many couples helping them strengthen their relationships. Give your husband another chance to get it right. Keep your family intact, together.

If you’re a man reading this and have a complaining and nagging wife, be happy! If she didn’t still care, she wouldn’t still nag.Listen before she goes on shut down mode. Spend time with her. Talk to her. Show her that she is the most important person in your life!

If you can show her that you can change and have a big and open heart, she might just give the marriage another try.

Are relationships challenging for you as a man? Just hold on to your N.U.T.s

Are relationships challenging for you as a man? Just hold on to your N.U.T.s 1080 1080 Abbe Lang

Is being in a relationship challenging for you as a man? Just hold on to your N.U.T.s, and all will be going smoothly; here are tips. 

THE MANUAL

As a man, the ability to rise in society will entail coming up with solutions that fight personal challenges. After all, being a man is not easy; men have to be strong mentally. Society also expects them to be strong physically. The physical part is not as essential as long as the brains function accordingly. So N.U.T.s and relationships work hand in hand. It is not a matter of society alone; men have to hold on to their N.U.T.s when in a relationship. Reflecting on how a man does not like the feeling when referred to a boy. It takes all the perceptions of what men think about themselves in society to another level of self-belief. This is where silencing the little boy factors in. When a grown-up man is referred to as a boy, they are not emotionally independent. Either they still seek motherly and fatherly attention because they lacked it while young. For a man to run a healthy relationship, the little boy has to be silenced. 

“Yes, men are humans who have affection, and feelings flow just like anyone else in society. But the N.U.T.s are important here; a man has to hold on to his. In a situation where feelings are superior to control, it is okay to express them but not make a mistake of defending the feelings. A relationship with a man who expresses feelings but does not defend the feelings means that the woman will receive what she wants and strengthen the bond. When feelings are not expressed, then chances of anger issues rise, stress, and maybe depression, so men have to hold on to their N.U.T.s.”

There is only one way to make your woman feel special as she used to when the relationship began, maintain the dominance in romance and sex departments. As the relationship grows, men often forget to be superior in the departments. The relaxation part destroys the relationship as expectations arise from the woman, but the man does not fulfill them. We can assume that the man has loosened his N.U.T.s. It is a detrimental aspect of a relationship. Maintain the dominance since when it comes to holding on to your N.U.T.s, dominance in the two departments is part of the interactions.

MORE ISSUES THAT MEN SHOULD RESOLVE

Men’s other significant issues in a relationship are arguing, not listening to the significant other, not trusting, and forgetting to be the pillar. 

Listening entails caring for your woman since listening will allow you to get all the gaps and establish a closer understanding. Then arguments are a bad sign in a relationship when the man is the core operator. 

Yes, everyone wants to be right, but when it comes to the safety of the relationship, a man doesn’t have to be right. You can assume and abandon being right. It will limit arguments. 

Be the pillar by fixing your woman’s problems, be there for her when she needs you; you will become the rock. 

After observing all these, make sure you hold on to your N.U.T.s through trust. The trust is not in the relationship but with other men. Women cannot offer the whole world; part of it should come from friends. These people will fight you when you are wrong and advise you on the best approaches to solving issues and life challenges. In the end, men should never accept any factor or aspect that compromises their N.U.T.s.