Staying connected to your teen

Staying connected to your teen

More than ever, your teen is yearning for a deep connection, and with good reason. The uncertainty of this world has turned many teens’ lives completely upside down. The covid pandemic has caused anxiety in most if not all of this generation. At this time in their lives, the challenge is that they yearn for the security of their parents, yet they are ready and willing to start running their own lives. Most parents have a difficult time with this power shift. Parents generally want more control over their teens’ lives than teens are willing to relinquish.

This balance is quite a challenge. If you pull back too much, your teen will suffer enormously and may even lose their way, but at the same time, if your try to over-control your teen, they may never grow up and will still want to live with you well into their later years. I like to explain to the parents of my teen clients you are no longer their manager but rather acting more as a consultant.

You need to start to appreciate this new emergent adult. Your teen needs you to recognize this part of themselves and believe in them.

Experts agree that peers can influence behavior more than parents in adolescence. We, as parents, are constantly looking at our teens’ behaviors and the long-term patterns we see emerging. However, teens live in the present moment. This is why they give you a strange look when you try and discuss patterns in their lives. You may say. “I am seeing that you are late to school every day, and you’re missing your homework assignments, “trying to point out irresponsible behavior. Your teen will feel like you are talking gibberish to them, though.

Over the next few blog posts, my goal is to guide you through specific ways to stay connected to your teen.

To explain to you how to guide your teen without them actually feeling guided by you. Your teen wants you to read between the lines and be there for them no matter how hard they try and “push” you away.

Abbe Lang is a certified Life Coach and has successfully raised and launched 3 teenage boys.

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