natural medicine

Marriage Worth Fighting For

Is your marriage worth fighting for?

Is your marriage worth fighting for? 250 250 Abbe Lang

Only you can really answer that, but I want you to consider some important facts. Most divorced couples do not anticipate the great pain suffered from a divorce that many times affects the rest of their life. Many think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but the truth is that your grass is just as green, but may have some dandelions and mole holes. These are fixable just as many of the problems in a marriage can be fixed. It just takes some work and commitment.

What if only one of you want to work on the marriage? Then that’s what you have to do. If one is working on the marriage, it can still be much better than it’s ever been. You don’t want the same marriage back. It wasn’t working. You want a brand new marriage with the same man that will be better than ever because of the work going into it in developing yourself and being confident with who you are. Imagine what you want your marriage to be like. Then set goals for yourself to get to what you imagined. Do not allow yourself to backslide, but keep moving forward.

Another thing you really need to consider for your marriage is the children. They are affected greatly by both of your choices of staying together and working on the marriage or divorcing. Kids really want their parents to stay together, except if there a huge amount of fighting or abuse involved. If you both decide to divorce, it takes away the security of being part of a family. Also, letting the kids witness how you work on your relationship will teach them to do likewise when they get older. It’s a legacy that you can leave them to live successful lives in meaningful relationships.

There are so many benefits to staying together. As you journey through the relationship rehab, you may find as you rediscover yourself that you are a pretty awesome lady, and shouldn’t be treated like “the old wife.” You are an individual that has a lot to offer. You are a special person and anyone who tells you different is not worth your time. Do not allow others to control who you are by defining you. You will grow into the person you are meant to be. Your story is not done yet … there are plenty of chapters still being written.

Make the choice of what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship, and stand by your choice. The pride you have in yourself will speak volumes to everyone. Instead of being needy for emotional approval from your husband, give it to yourself. Don’t allow anyone to limit you. In rediscovering yourself, you will be attractive to your husband, as he also sees for himself that you are a person of great value and worthy of his respect and attention.

Never Date A Married Man

Never, ever date a married man

Never, ever date a married man 250 250 Abbe Lang

What do you do when you meet some guy that you are really interested in and then find out he’s married? Short answer: RUN! (Reaffirm, Unlatch, Next) Let me break this down for you a bit.

Reaffirm your goals for a relationship. You want a prince of your very own and not have to share one with another who happens to be his wife. She has priority over you, no matter what he tries to tell you. If he has children, you go even further down the list. The promise to leave his wife for you is mute until his address has changed, but still you need to consider that he cheated on her. That probably is an indicator that he would also cheat on you. You may have heard all the awful things about her, but that is only one side of the story.

Your goals are for a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone that you can trust. You want them to love you for who you are, not as a means of escape from another relationship. You are worth having your goals met in a man.
Unlatch your claim to him for there was no real commitment from him. It is time to send him home where he belongs. Do not answer his phone calls or meet him at any time. The cord has been cut in your relationship and it is time for you to move on to better things.

Next, learn from your experience and keep an eye out for your Prince Charming. Take an active role in meeting new people and going to places that will not remind you of the married toad you just released. Soon, the pain of that transition will become a distant memory as you experience better things. Be confident in knowing that you made the right decision in letting him go. You deserve so much better, and you can have it!

The Five Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages 250 250 Abbe Lang

One of the biggest banes of a marriage is the absence of love. Many couples have experienced terrible fallings-out because one or the other feels unloved and underappreciated.
What husbands and wives often fail to realize is that people express, interpret, and expect love in different ways. Often times, a marriage is not entirely loveless, it is just that one loves in a language that the other does not understand.
According to marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, people speak five different love languages:
Words of Affirmation. Some people need to hear the words “I love you” constantly. Unsolicited compliments are also always welcome while insults and other negative words leave them inconsolable.
Quality Time. There are people who believe that undivided attention and spending time together is the sincerest form of expressing love. It is disappointing for them when dates get postponed or their partners get easily distracted.
Receiving Gifts. For people who speak this love language, love is best expressed with thoughtful gifts that aren’t necessarily expensive. Sometimes, a simple card is enough as long as their significant other exerts effort.
Acts of Service. Those who express love through acts of service often aim to ease the burden of responsibilities for their better half. This can be as straightforward as loading the dishwasher or mowing the lawn.
Physical Touch. This isn’t confined to intimacy in the bedroom. This can include holding hands, pats on the back, hugs, and any thoughtful touches.

Choose Happiness in your Intimate Relationships

Choose Happiness in your Intimate Relationships

Choose Happiness in your Intimate Relationships 250 250 Abbe Lang

Speed bumps are common in relationships. Fights happen and expectations can’t always be met but that shouldn’t deter a couple from giving a peaceful relationship. Yes, it takes work but the effort will always be worth it.

Here are some things to remember in order to have a sound relationship with one’s significant other:
Give the Other Person the Benefit of the Doubt. Sometimes it helps to think that your significant other hadn’t really meant to hurt you. Put yourself in their shoes and try to rationalize the situation from their point of view.

Don’t Play the Blame Game. Sometimes when we feel inadequate about ourselves, we blame the other person. Look inwards and determine the root of your negative emotion. Sometimes, the problem can be found within us. The solution will be obvious thereafter.

Don’t Act when you are Emotional. Strong emotions such as hurt, frustration, and anger can lead to irrational reactions and decisions. Acting on emotion can lead to regret in the end so try to calm down first before trying to do anything.
Choose Your Battles Wisely. Not everything should be turned into a fight. Confrontations are healthy in a relationship but fighting doesn’t solve anything all the time. Don’t let everything bother you.

Take care of Yourself. Some lose themselves in a relationship so much that they forget that they are an individual that needs constant nurturing. Channel some of that TLC towards yourself. Remember that you cannot love another person fully if you do not love yourself.

Keeping Anger Out Of Intimate Relationships

Keeping Anger Out Of Intimate Relationships

Keeping Anger Out Of Intimate Relationships 150 150 Abbe Lang

Anger is normal under any circumstance, even in relationships, so keeping anger out of intimate relationships is even more important than ever. People get upset over things or even with their partners. More often than not, the problem lies not on anger per se but on the way a couple manages this situation. Anger doesn’t kill a relationship but holding on to it does. Here are some tips to deal with anger for couples:

*Address anger right away. Never leave your significant other with his or her rage because doing so will only make matters worse. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and understand what he or she is upset about. Listen well so that you can both work towards solving the problem at hand.

*Share your feelings too. Avoid passive aggression at all costs. Express your anger, nervousness, or frustration. Open communication is vital when it comes to dealing with anger in a relationship.

*Recognize the fact that sometimes, you are not really angry with your partner but rather on the situation. More often than not, it’s not the person that really causes the negative feelings but what he or she did or failed to do.

*Let anger go. There are things that are not really worth getting upset over and it is important to recognize that harmonious relationships only happen when both parties are willing to accept certain things.

Top 10 Anti-Aging Foods

Top 10 Anti-Aging Foods

Top 10 Anti-Aging Foods 150 150 Abbe Lang

Now it’s time for the fun part: all the good foods you can eat that will also protect you from aging. Some of these foods may seem unfamiliar to you, but that’s okay. Experiment with different ways of preparing them and you’ll open up a whole new world of culinary delights.

1. Turmeric: If you love Indian food, you’re in luck because this is one spice you’ll want to use a lot because it is packed with benefits. It is really great in any kind of food so stock up. Turmeric has been shown to help prevent cancer and also protects brain and skin cells from free radical damage. This means your concentration can improve and wrinkles will appear more slowly.

A 2013 study published in Cellular Physiology and Biochemistry stated that “Age-related cerebrovascular dysfunction contributes to stroke, cerebral amyloid angiopathy, cognitive decline and neurodegenerative diseases.” But, curcumin, the active ingredient in turmeric, after one month of use, showed promising results. “Curcumin treatment may be an effective therapeutic strategy to reverse age-related cerebrovascular dysfunction. Curcumin administration may represent a promising lifestyle intervention for preventing age-related cerebrovascular disturbances.“

If all that isn’t enough, turmeric has also been shown to be an anti-inflammatory. It improves blood circulation and acts as an anti-coagulant. What all this means is, if you have joint pain from arthritis or another disorder, turmeric can help with the pain. It also helps treat sprains, strains and bruises. With so many benefits, you can see why turmeric is listed as the number one anit-aging food.

2. Cruciferous Vegetables: Green cruciferous vegetables like cabbage, broccoli and Brussels sprouts have been found to help reduce the risk of memory loss contribute to bone health. They may also help prevent cancer. These benefits are due to green veggies being rich in folate, calcium and other vital nutrients.

3. Leafy Greens: Leafy greens like spinach and kale are rich in the antioxidants zinc, beta-carotene and vitamin C. These nutrients are shown to help protect against macular degeneration as you age. Spinach also contains lutein, a nutrient known to improve skin elasticity.

4. Pomegranates: A bowl of pomegranate seeds is reminiscent of a bowl of shimmering rubies, but you’ll find them valuable for keeping wrinkles at bay. Pomegranates are rich in vitamin C, powerful antioxidant that fights free radicals that damage your skin. Pomegranate juice contains both ellagic acid, a polyphenol compound that fights damage from free radicals, and punicalagin, a supernutrient that has been found to increase your body’s capacity to preserve collagen.
Pomegranates are best enjoyed as the whole fruit. That is, eat a cup of seeds each week instead of drinking the processed juice. Fruit juices are not as healthy as whole fruits because the sugars are more concentrated (giving you more sugar per serving than you need) and you lose the benefits of fruit fiber.

5. Berries: Cranberries, blackberries and blueberries all are rich in anthocyanins. Anthocyanins are antioxidant compounds that improve brain function and muscle tone. They may also slow certain types of cancer. They may also improve heart health and protect against obesity.

Anthocyanins can also be found in pomegranates, grapes and red onions. They are what give these foods their bright color. A bowl of mixed berries is a treat for sure, and your body will thank you.

6. Salmon: Salmon, and other cold water fish like tuna, sardines and mackerel, help keep your skin looking young and healthy because they are rich in omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s strengthen cell membranes to moisture can’t escape. They also reduce inflammatory compounds that age your body faster.

7. Walnuts: Like salmon, walnuts and other nuts are rich in omega-3s. They are a good snack if you want to lose weight because they fill you up fast without eating very many. Nuts also have lots of minerals that make your immune system stronger. In addition, they aid in digestion, help balance cholesterol levels, and contribute to healthier looking skin. Research has shown that the omega-3s in walnuts may also reduce inflammation that leads to age-related dementia.

8. Tomatoes: Because they contain the antioxidant lycopene, tomatoes help keep your skin young. They may also reduce the risk of heart disease and some types of cancer.

9. Red Grapes: Another antioxidant rich food, red grapes have one called resveritol. In studies, resveritol extended the lives of lab animals. It also has anti-inflammatory and anticoagulant properties that contribute to a healthy heart. Enjoy the fruit or, on occasion, some grape juice or red wine.

10. Olive Oil: Olive oil has monounsaturated fat – that’s the good fat – that is found to reduce cognitive decline according to a study from the University Medical Center Utrecht in the Netherlands. This could be due to the anti-inflammatory effects of omega-3s which inhibits the synthesis of cytokines and mitogens, which slow cognitive function. So keep your brain sharp as you age by using olive oil in your foods.

Breaking up is hard to do

Breaking up is hard to do 150 150 Abbe Lang

I tend to talk so much about manifesting a relationship, some have called me the Fairy Princess of Love.

But today I want to talk to you about a more tender, yet vitally important topic . . . the ending of one.
I’ve seen time and time again how a bad breakup can hinder new love from taking root for years . . . and sometimes even decades.

As far as I’m concerned, bad breakups are one of the most underrated traumas a person can live through. Along with losing your partner, you can also lose your sense of identity—who you are and how you fit into the world.

You can lose the vision of the future you were planning to have together and were organizing your life around. You might lose your home, your social group, or a portion of your belongings. And, worst of all, you might even lose daily contact with your children.

You may become depressed, unable to eat, have trouble sleeping, and sometimes not want to get out of bed for days on end, obsessed with trying to figure out what happened, and unsure how to move on with your life.

It can actually be a struggle just to get through the demands of a normal day. If you feel that you need some additional help getting through your breakup, please reach out to someone who cares

Natural Flu Prevention Methods

Natural Flu Prevention Methods 150 150 Abbe Lang

Before you think about getting the Flu shot why don’t you explore the natural options to stimulate your immune system this winter.

Last year has been by far one of the worst flu seasons!   People are always wondering what they can do to stay healthy.   There are several homeopathic remedies that can help treat the flu but the one remedy that I use throughout flu season as a preventative is Influenzinum 30c.

Influenzinum is a great homeopathic remedy that helps in flu prevention.   It is updated each year based on the flu strains that are used in the flu vaccine for that particular year. Influenzinum is used for the treatment of aches, fatigue, sore throat, chills, fever, diarrhea, and vomiting. It is also useful for lingering fevers from previous infections in the body.
Preventative and treatment dosing as per Angelica Lemke, homeopath

There are several different recommendations for dosing protocols for prevention. I suggest that you experiment, and choose the one that works best for you and your family. It is recommended to use 9C – 30C potency. I generally use 30C and I find it very effective. Here are three different ways to dose the remedy (regardless of which potency you choose):
Preventative dosing (1st Option): Dissolve 1 or 2 pellets in your or your child’s mouth once a week for 4 weeks and then repeat 3 weeks later.

Preventative dosing (2nd Option): Dissolve pellets in 1-2 oz. of water and take one teaspoon once per week for 4 weeks and then repeat 3 weeks later.

Treatment dosing: If you already feel the onset of the flu: put 1 pellet in one Tablespoon of water and take 1 drop under the tongue every 20 min. for 2 -2 ½ hours. Then continue to take 2 drops twice a day for a week.

Influenzinum can generally be found in local health food stores as well as online. Note – Boiron also sells a remedy that is similar to Influenzinum, called Oscillococcinum. It can be used similarly to Influenzinum.   You can even get Influenzinum on – it is called “Influenzinum MDT 30c” by Boiron – MDT stands for Multidose tube.

For prevention of flu, keep in mind that plenty of fluids and fruits and veggies are helpful to keep the body alkaline.  It is also important to limit sugar and refined carbohydrates.   Consume whole grains (preferably gluten-free). Keeping the microbial flora in the intestines healthy can also go a long way in preventing the flu. An effective way to do this is through probiotics.   Also, some supplements have shown to be helpful in the prevention of flu: zinc, vitamins A (mycelized or palmitate forms), C, and D, and elderberry (Sambucus). These supplements can also be helpful in treating the flu in higher doses (if children are unable to hold down fluids or food, then stick with homeopathic remedies until nausea/vomiting subsides). Garlic and ginger also have antiviral properties and can be consumed raw, with food, as a tea, or in pill form. Think about adding the following supplements to your winter arsenal:

1. Zinc
Prevention: under age four, 5 mg daily; over age four/adults, 10 mg daily
Treatment: for children 2 -12 months old give 10-15mg a day, for children between 1 and 3 give 20-30 mg daily, for older children give 50 mg a day, and adults can take 75-100 mg a day (divide the dose and give twice daily).

2. Vitamin A
Prevention: Children 2-24 months can take 1250IU daily, children 2-5 years old can take 2500IU daily and people over the age of 5 can take 5000IU daily (be sure to calculate vitamin A already being consumed in multivitamins and other supplements, such as cod-liver oil).
Treatment: 10,000 IU – 15,000 IU daily.

3. Vitamin C
Prevention: Young children (under 5) can take 250mg twice a day and older children and adults can take 500mg twice a day.
Treatment: for children up to age of 5, 1000mg per year of age, and as much as possible for older children and adults, as long as the stool does not become loose (the total dose should be divided and given several times per day).

4. Vitamin D
Prevention: 1,000-2,000 IU daily.
Treatment: same

5. Elderberry
Prevention: for children, 1 teaspoon daily; for adults, 2 capsules daily.
Treatment: for children under 4 years of age, take 1 teaspoon 4 times a day, and older children and adults should take 2 teaspoons 4 times a day.

6. Apple Cider Vinegar
Keeps the body alkaline

Homeopathic remedies for the Flu

Aconite (Acon.)

Aconite is useful in the initial time period of a sudden onset fever, accompanied by severe anxiety, restlessness, and intolerable pains and sensitivity – all much worse at night. The child may be hot and sweaty with significant thirst for cold drinks, and have eyes that may look shocked; staring, glassy, etc. The child is easily excitable, prone to panic, and strongly wants company.

Belladonna (Bell.)

Belladonna is one of the primary remedies for sudden onset very high fevers with intense dry burning heat especially in the locally affected parts. The fever may accompany any different kind of infection from bacterial to viral, etc. Key symptoms are a red, hot head and cold limbs, easy delirium during fever, dilated pupils, and extreme oversensitivity to their environment.

Bryonia Alba (Bry.)

Bryonia Alba can have a very high fever but usually with a sluggish and slow onset. Once in place there is a dry burning heat without sweating, and the main thing the child wants is to stay still to avoid exacerbating any of the chills or pains (from coughing, in the chest, etc). They are very dry and may be constantly thirsty for water. They may be irritable or angry and generally want to be left alone during the acute, spending all their limited energy on dealing with the illness at hand.

Gelsemium (Gels.)

Gelsemium is a remedy for fevers in which the main character is extreme weariness and heaviness in the body; they can’t keep their eyes open, everything is heavy and drooping. Legs may be so heavy that they tremble. The fever may be from flu or other ailments and often comes on during summer or changes of weather from cold to warm. There is also a lot of anticipatory anxiety seen in Gelsemium.

Eupatorium Perfoliatum (Eup. Perf.)

Eupatorium perfoliatum is an important remedy for those fevers where the most prominent symptom is intense, deep aching, bruised pains especially in the bones, to the point where the bones feel as if they may be breaking. The skin, likewise, is sensitive and sore especially in flu. Unlike Bryonia alba in which the intense pains lead them to want to remain very still, Eupatorium may be quite restless during the fever, though can also be depressed, sleepy, yawning and moaning.


The Center for Holistic Healing: Email Newsletter #1 January, 2013
Stephanie Weeks

Signs of Magnesium Deficiency

Signs of Magnesium Deficiency 150 150 Abbe Lang

Another good list of early warning symptoms suggestive of magnesium insufficiency:

  • Physical and mental fatigue
  • Persistent under-eye twitch
  • Tension in the upper back, shoulders and neck
  • Headaches
  • Pre-menstrual fluid retention and/or breast tenderness
  • Possible manifestations of magnesium deficiency include:
  • Low energy
  • Fatigue
  • Weakness
  • Confusion
  • Nervousness
  • Anxiousness
  • Irritability
  • Seizures (and tantrums)
  • Poor digestion
  • PMS and hormonal imbalances
  • Inability to sleep
  • Muscle tension, spasm, and cramps
  • Calcification of organs
  • Weakening of the bones
  • Abnormal heart rhythm

Severe magnesium deficiency can result in low levels of calcium in the blood (hypocalcemia). Magnesium deficiency is also associated with low levels of potassium in the blood (hypokalemia). Magnesium levels drop at night, leading to poor REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep cycles and unrefreshed sleep. Headaches, blurred vision, mouth ulcers, fatigue and anxiety are also early signs of depletion.

We hear all the time about how heart disease is the number one health crisis in the country, about how high blood pressure is the “silent killer”, and about how ever increasing numbers of our citizens are having their lives and the lives of their families destroyed by diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, and a host of other chronic diseases.

Signs of severe magnesium deficiency include:

  • Extreme thirst
  • Extreme hunger
  • Frequent urination
  • Sores or bruises that heal slowly
  • Dry, itchy skin
  • Unexplained weight loss
  • Blurry vision that changes from day to day
  • Unusual tiredness or drowsiness
  • Tingling or numbness in the hands or feet
  • Frequent or recurring skin, gum, bladder or vaginal yeast infections

But wait a minute, aren’t those the same symptoms for diabetes? Many people have diabetes for about 5 years before they show strong symptoms. By that time, some people already have eye, kidney, gum or nerve damage caused by the deteriorating condition of their cells due to insulin resistance and magnesium deficiency. Dump some mercury and arsenic on the mixture of etiologies and pronto we have the disease condition we call diabetes.

Magnesium deficiency is synonymous with diabetes and is at the root of many if not all cardiovascular problems.
Magnesium deficiency is a predictor of diabetes and heart disease both; diabetics both need more magnesium and lose more magnesium than most people. In two new studies, in both men and women, those who consumed the most magnesium in their diet were least likely to develop type 2 diabetes, according to a report in the January 2006 issue of the journal Diabetes Care. Until now, very few large studies have directly examined the long-term effects of dietary magnesium on diabetes. Dr. Simin Liu of the Harvard Medical School and School of Public Health in Boston says, “Our studies provided some direct evidence that greater intake of dietary magnesium may have a long-term protective effect on lowering risk,” said Liu, who was involved in both studies.

The thirst of diabetes is part of the body’s response to excessive urination. The excessive urination is the body’s attempt to get rid of the extra glucose in the blood. This excessive urination causes the increased thirst. But we have to look at what is causing this level of disharmony. We have to probe deeper into layers of cause. The body needs to dump glucose because of increasing insulin resistance and that resistance is being fueled directly by magnesium deficiency, which makes toxic insults more damaging to the tissues at the same time.

When diabetics get too high blood sugars, the body creates “ketones” as a by-product of breaking down fats. These ketones cause blood acidity which causes “acidosis” of the blood, leading to Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA), This is a very dangerous condition that can lead to coma and death. It is also called “diabetic acidosis”, “ketosis”, “ketoacidosis” or “diabetic coma”. DKA is a common way for new Type 1 diabetics to be diagnosed. If they fail to seek medical advice on symptoms like urination, which is driving thirst they can die of DKA.

Oral magnesium supplements reduce erythrocyte[2] dehydration.[3] In general, optimal balances of electrolytes are necessary to maintain the best possible hydration. Diabetic thirst is initiated specifically by magnesium deficiency with relative calcium excess in the cells. Even water, our most basic nutrient starts having a hard time getting into the cells with more going out through the kidneys.

First published: Magnesium Thirst Magnesium Hunger
[2] Red blood cells are also known as RBCs, red blood corpuscles (an archaic term), haematids or erythrocytes (from Greek erythros for “red” and kytos for “hollow”, with cyte translated as “cell” in modern usage). The capitalized term Red Blood Cells is the proper name in the US for erythrocytes in storage solution used in transfusion medicine.
[3] J. Clin. Invest. 100(7): 1847-1852 (1997). doi:10.1172/JCI119713. The American Society for Clinical Investigation

Successful Marriages need a Game Plan

Successful Marriages need a Game Plan 150 150 Abbe Lang

The decision to get married will change one’s life more deeply than almost any other decision we could ever make. So it continues to amaze me that people will rush into marriage with little or no Relationship preparation or Communication skills that are needed for making a marriage successful. Couples pay far more attention to planning the actual wedding day when the festivities last a few hours and the relationship can and should last a lifetime. Most people don’t even go into marriage with a healthy dating relationship under their belt.

Healthy dating relationships focus on really getting to know the other person. What you see on the outside is not necessarily what you will discover on the inside. Both partners need a certain level of honesty in order to expose their true selves. In my coaching practice, I teach my clients that we all have Gremlins. These Gremlins are labels that we have given ourselves probably way back in childhood. We tend to overreact in our intimate relationships when our partners touch upon these “wounds” Every couple has a unique history. Sometimes it takes a 3rd party to help us feel safe to share our histories. Especially if we feel shame or embarrassment about our pasts. Taking the time prior to marriage to learn the skills to communicate will save you much hardship, tears, and frustrations in the future.