coaching

Make This New Year Different

Make This New Year Different

Make This New Year Different 800 533 Abbe Lang

Many people use the New Year to think about goals for the future. Losing weight, working out, giving up bad habits… All of these things are common goals but so often people making these goals meet with failure in short order. In fact, you’ve probably had a similar experience. Why is it so hard to set positive goals and make them happen? Why does it seem so difficult to make improvements to ourselves? And what can I do to make this year different?

The Experts Advice

Well, there are several theories on this. Dr. Wayne Dyer said the reason we fail with our resolutions is because, “any resolution that involves you making decisions about long-range upcoming behavior reinforces the self-defeating notion of living in the future rather than in the present moment.” He suggests that, instead of setting big goals for the new year, we should set small goals for each new day.

So instead of saying, “I’m going to lose 40 pounds this year” and then feeling like a failure when you have a hard time resisting that chocolate cake three months from now, wake up each morning and ask yourself, “What healthy choices will I make today?” Then you can easily follow through on your goals, one day at a time, just by living in the moment.

Dr. Mercola offers further suggestions. Instead of making resolutions that are easy to break, focus on making lifestyle changes. Instead of making the resolution to work out for 45 minutes every day, decide each day that you will get in as much movement as possible. That way you aren’t telling yourself at the end of the day, “Ugh! I still have to get on the treadmill.” Much more satisfying is to end your day by recalling that you took the stairs instead of the elevator, walked in the park on your lunch break instead of playing Candy Crush on your computer, and walked the dog instead of letting him into the back yard while you veg in front of the TV. All those little things add up! You can learn lots more tips and tricks for creating a healthy lifestyle by reading my ebook, “The Secrets of Weight Loss, Diet, and Staying Lean Forever“.

Dr. Josh Axe believes it’s important that we understand why we are setting certain goals. For instance, instead of deciding you need to lose weight because “I’m fat”, think a little deeper. Do you want to lose weight because you want more energy? Do you want your clothes to fit better? Do you want to feel younger as you continue to get older? Take a moment to really dig deep and figure out your “why”. Dr Axe suggests writing these things down and posting them someplace where you can see it every day so you always remember your true motivation.

Success Tips

To sum things up, there are ways that you can be successful in meeting your goals:

  1. Live in the moment. Set goals for each day instead of for the entire year.
  2. Make lifestyle changes towards a healthier life instead of setting difficult goals like losing a certain number of pounds within a certain time frame.
  3. Understand why you have the goals you have. Write down your why and read it every day.

Keep in mind, goals don’t just have to be about diet and fitness. Think about how you’d like to improve your relationships with friends, family and your significant other. If your marriage or relationship is struggling, I can help with my book, “How to Keep Your Man Interested“.

Live for the moment and enjoy every moment of the New Year! Together, we can make it your most successful year ever.

Successful Marriages need a Game Plan

Successful Marriages need a Game Plan 150 150 Abbe Lang

The decision to get married will change one’s life more deeply than almost any other decision we could ever make. So it continues to amaze me that people will rush into marriage with little or no Relationship preparation or Communication skills that are needed for making a marriage successful. Couples pay far more attention to planning the actual wedding day when the festivities last a few hours and the relationship can and should last a lifetime. Most people don’t even go into marriage with a healthy dating relationship under their belt.

Healthy dating relationships focus on really getting to know the other person. What you see on the outside is not necessarily what you will discover on the inside. Both partners need a certain level of honesty in order to expose their true selves. In my coaching practice, I teach my clients that we all have Gremlins. These Gremlins are labels that we have given ourselves probably way back in childhood. We tend to overreact in our intimate relationships when our partners touch upon these “wounds” Every couple has a unique history. Sometimes it takes a 3rd party to help us feel safe to share our histories. Especially if we feel shame or embarrassment about our pasts. Taking the time prior to marriage to learn the skills to communicate will save you much hardship, tears, and frustrations in the future.

Intimate Relationships and loving too much

Intimate Relationships and loving too much 150 150 Abbe Lang

When being in love means being upset and being in pain we are loving too much. When most or all of our conversations are about our intimate partner, his or her thoughts, feelings and desires then we are loving too much.
When we continue to make excuses for his or her moodiness, bad temper, criticism, and behaviors, we are loving too much.
When we are reading self help books or seeing a therapist or coach for the “other” person, we are loving too much.
When our intimate relationships jeopardize our emotional well being and perhaps even our physical health, we are surely loving too much.
I hope that for all of you who love too much that you may consider Relationship Coaching to become more aware of the reality of your condition, and to learn how to direct that loving energy toward your own life and self.