Speaking from first-hand experience and surviving a divorce can take every bit of your energy. The legal system is set up for you to fight, get angry, and be stressed out. When we are worried about our future and finances, it is hard not to panic or attack our ex.
Number One:
The first concern is that you need to be clear about what you need and want financially without asking from a place of fear or attack.
Number two:
You must put your children’s best interests in mind. During my divorce, my ex-husband was allowed to visit our children in our marital home.
I didn’t disrupt my boys and force them to go to a cheesy Wednesday night dinner with their dad when they didn’t want to. I left my house and let him hang there in their natural environment. Was it always easy? Hell no, but it was best for the children. Doing what is best for your children will save you much heartache down the road.
Number three:
You need to learn from your shortcomings in your last marriage and work with a coach or therapist, so you don’t repeat these exact patterns moving forward.
Look inside for what responsibility you can take in the failure of your marriage instead of pointing the finger outward.
Number Four:
Forgive your ex, and don’t hold on to the anger. No one wants to hear you bash your ex, and they will avoid you at all costs if every time they see you, the topic of conversation is feeling sorry for yourself!