It is crucial to try and have discussions with your teens when the timing is right. How often have you tried to get your point across to your teen as they stare blindly at their phone and your advice is going in one ear and out another?
Teens open up most naturally at night. Late at night, your teens are the most reflective, and you should always make yourself available if they are willing and able to allow you to catch up on their world. This is not the time to lecture your teen. This is the time for you to allow them to talk, for you to simply validate their feelings and concerns, and to be on their side. Parents often complain that teens are too busy to talk. However, this is not really true.
The truth is, when your teen is ready to talk, you are usually asleep. The parent who truly wants to connect will remain available late at night, sometimes just for this reason. When your teen launches for college their first year, you can certainly expect some late-night telephone calls. Don’t be surprised if your freshman actually sounds clinically depressed. The first thing they will dump on you is everything that is wrong. They will tell you only the worst parts of where they are and who they are with.
When they are happy, they don’t call! They are too busy adapting to their new environment to think about home. Late at night, however, you usually hear about how difficult it is to adapt and how much they miss home. Always keep in mind when talking to your teen these four questions: Are they too hungry, too angry, too lonely, or too tired. This will give you and your teen an accurate diagnosis of where their stress is coming from.