Wisdom I Paid For. So You Don’t Have To. (Part 2)

Let’s pick up where we left off in “Wisdom I Paid For. So You Don’t Have To – Part 1.”

Here, I share with you wisdom snacks 8–14.

8. It’s NOT the thought that counts.

There was a time in my life when I believed that intentions are what matter most. But the truth is that intentions are like seeds buried deep inside the ground. If a seed doesn’t grow into something above ground, like a flower or a tree, that seed is useless.

When we set an intention, we benefit from a jolt of adrenaline. We are suddenly motivated and excited.

We often mistake this initial feeling for having somehow achieved the goal. This is why so many of us continue to dream, talk, and plan for years without taking action. Every time we think about our goal, we get a boost.

But it’s temporary. Over time, that feeling fades—along with the goal. As Yoda said: “Do or do not.” To that, I’ve learned to say to myself, “Do or stop talking about it.”

9. Take the long cut.

I was the queen of shortcuts. There wasn’t a corner I didn’t want to cut or a hack I didn’t want to try. Taking shortcuts was my specialty, and I wore it proudly.

Until I didn’t.

Until life showed me that there is no such thing as shortcuts, hacks, or a free lunch.

Anything worthy requires a minimum commitment and some kind of fee—that’s just the price of entry into the game of life.

Excellence, which became my goal in the second half of life, requires taking the long way. Success is directly tied to the time, focus, and patience we are willing to give.

Shortcuts are for amateurs. If you crave depth, you must learn to love the long cut.

10. Space is where miracles happen.

I’m big on miracles—of all shapes and sizes.

I believe we live in a world of miracles.

I believe in supersized miracles like the parting of the Red Sea, medium-sized ones like an injury healing before a race, and small but powerful ones like your child calling from across the world at the exact moment you’re thinking of them.

But here, I’m talking about the kind of miracles we only recognize in hindsight:

• The thought that dropped into your mind out of nowhere and changed everything.
• The stranger who introduced you to your future partner.
• The easy hike that turned into a transformative conversation.
• The weekend that revealed desires you didn’t know you had.

These miracles show up only when we create space in our calendars and lives. Build white space—and miracles will come.

11. The intensity of your desire—not your past—decides your future.

If I believed our past achievements limit our future, I wouldn’t be in the business of human potential. Yet so many of us measure what we’re capable of by what we’ve already done.

I didn’t dread sports growing up, but I also wasn’t someone you’d look at and predict a future in athletics. Fast forward to today, and I’m obsessed with weightlifting. It’s not just a workout routine—it’s a passion that grounds me, shapes my discipline, and fuels my strength inside and out.

What changed? Only desire.

Desire pulled me into the gym, into the discipline of lifting, into proving to myself that I could commit. Desire opened up a potential I didn’t know I had.

Your past is a data point. Your desire is the force that builds your future.

12. Stop managing expectations.

I was always bold, but when I became a parent, fear settled in. Not fear of my own failure, but fear of my sons’ disappointment.

I thought I was helping them by managing expectations:

“Very few people get into that school.”

But I realized I wasn’t serving them by trying to shield them from failure or disappointment. Instead, I had to teach resilience—the confidence to recover:

“Give it all you’ve got, and it’s totally fine if you don’t get in.”

One of my sons finally called me out:

“Mom, I’m gonna get disappointed anyway. I have high expectations. I’ll be fine. Can we stop this?”

Enough said.

13. Pick the one virtue you truly struggle with and practice it daily.

Here, my teachers are the Stoics. Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations, a guide for living with wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. We all lean naturally toward some virtues and avoid others.

The invitation is to practice the one that challenges you most.

For me, it’s forgiveness. It doesn’t come easily, and I’ve paid the price with my peace of mind.

Marcus Aurelius aspired “to forgive a man who has wronged one, to remain a friend to one who has transgressed friendship, to continue faithful to one who has broken faith.” That feels nearly impossible for me.

But as the Mishnah says: “It is not yours to finish the task, but neither are you free to set it aside.”

14. Silence before wisdom.

If wisdom is knowledge digested, silence is the digestion itself. Silence is the space Viktor Frankl spoke of: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

Choosing our response—rather than reacting—is perhaps the wisest practice of all.

Think of a moment you regret. Now imagine if you had taken just one beat of silence before speaking or acting. How different would the outcome have been?

We undervalue silence in today’s world. Outrage feels productive, especially on social media, but it’s only noise. Wisdom lives in silence, quiet confidence, and meaningful action.

Closing

Friends, I hope these last two pieces of writing have ignited your curiosity to reflect and recognize your own list of wisdom—the truths that have shaped your life.

I’d love to know what yours are.