In this blog post, we’re going into Step #4 of our journey to rescue your marriage. In the analogy of a hungry rat looking for cheese, the rat only goes down a tunnel that has cheese- it will not go down a tunnel that does not have cheese. We can apply this principle to your marriage and avoid those “cheeseless tunnels.”
Step #4: Stop Going Down Cheeseless Tunnels
If certain things in your relationship aren’t working, it’s time to stop going down those tunnels.
Why? Because Doing More of What Isn’t Working… Doesn’t Work!
It’s a bit like beating your head against the wall and expecting it to turn into a door. When you persist with behaviors or actions that have proven to be ineffective, you’re not only failing to solve the problems, but you might even make them worse.
The “More Time” Scenario:
Here’s a real-life example to illustrate the point. Imagine you’ve been pushing your husband to spend more time with you during his free moments, thinking it will bring you closer. However, it might have the opposite effect. He could feel nagged, and as a result, he distances himself even more.
Creating a Loop of “More of the Same”:
This is like going down a “cheeseless tunnel” over and over again, expecting different results. It can create a frustrating cycle of “more of the same.”
So, What Should You Do?
Instead of stubbornly persisting with a strategy that’s clearly not working, it’s time to switch things up. Here’s how:
Look for Cheese Elsewhere:
When something in your marriage isn’t working, take a step back and think outside the box. Try to see the situation from your spouse’s perspective and understand why your suggestions might not be landing.
Seek Alternative Paths:
Rather than banging your head against that wall, explore other ways to address the issue. This could involve compromise, finding a fresh approach, or discovering common ground that can bring you closer.
How Coaching with Me Can Help
Finding your way out of those cheeseless tunnels can be tough, especially when you’re stuck in a cycle of frustration. That’s where I come in! My coaching sessions can equip you with the tools and strategies to break free from unproductive patterns and find more effective ways to navigate your marriage maze.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay to step away from those cheeseless tunnels in your marriage. In fact, it’s often the wisest choice.