Did you know what an anxious attachment style is? It is a form of insecure attachment style which develops in early childhood and continues to manifest in adulthood. The major signs of anxious attachment style include but are not limited to;

  • Low self-esteem
  • Strong fear of rejection or abandonment
  • Clinginess in relationships

It is common for anyone to crave attention, appreciation, and support from others. However, whenever we love too much, then we know something is wrong. Here are the top five reasons why you probably love too much!

  1. You come from a dysfunctional home.

One of the most likely reasons you love too much and feel insecure in your relationships is that you did not receive real love growing up! To fill that void, you try to love another, and, in most cases, you find yourself loving that person too much! 

  1. You could not change your parents/guardians. 

If you didn’t have loving and caring parents while growing up, you might have wished to change them into loving human beings, but that was just a wish. When you finally latch onto a guy, you will be tempted to turn them into a loving human being the way you yearned to be loved by your parents. 

  1. You are terrified of abandonment.

The fear of being abandoned by your man might be too much to bear! The major cause of this phenomenon is low self-esteem which happens if you grow up in a dysfunctional childhood. If you did not receive adequate support and appreciation in your childhood from your caregivers, then this could be why you fear abandonment that much!

  1. You are not used to getting a lot of love and attention.

In cases where you have suffered heartbreaks in childhood, adolescence, or youth, you may have forgotten what a healthy relationship full of love and attention feels like. To fulfill your desires, you may try to wait on your spouse, hope and pray and try to please them even when there are clear signs that they are not the one! Even when they treat you like sh*t, you still hang in there, hoping they will change!

  1. You are used to taking guilt and blame for everything.

You are probably used to being a punching bag from childhood, and now you are bringing that behavior to adulthood. As a result, you will take more than 50% of the blame or guilt for everything happening in your relationship, which is a huge mistake! Please stop!

How do I deal with my anxious attachment?

Luckily, there are different ways to deal with anxious attachment style and get over it;

First, make sense of everything that happened in your childhood and appreciate that the past should not control your present and future. Let it go!

Secondly, be mindful of how you interact with others, including your partners. 

    • Always check your behavioral patterns and be mindful of them.

Lastly, feel free to contact your therapist and bring them aboard. 

    • All you need is to be open and ask for help!
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