Stop trying to fix her, and just be the strong man she needs you to be.

Stop trying to fix her, and just be the strong man she needs you to be.

Stop trying to fix her, and just be the strong man she needs you to be. 1080 1080 Abbe Lang

“I just don’t understand why she’s so unhappy. I’ve tried to give her everything she wants, but nothing seems to make her happy.”

So many men are in this same boat. It feels like you’re doing all the right things, and yet you still can’t seem to make your wife happy. You’re working hard at your job, spending time with the kids, trying to make sure everyone’s needs are being met…and yet it still doesn’t feel like enough.

I know this because I’ve worked with numerous clients who have been there. I have men coming in for coaching sessions telling me their wives would constantly be upset with them. She would get angry about the smallest things and couldn’t seem to let them go or move on from them for days (sometimes weeks). They couldn’t understand why she was so upset or what had caused it.

Once we started working together though, I helped them realize that their reactions were actually causing more problems than they should have been. Her yelling at them wasn’t something that could be solved by them yelling back at her—in fact, that would only escalate the situation further! Instead of reacting in a defensive way when she was upset with them over something small like spilling coffee grounds on the kitchen floor while making breakfast, learning how to respond instead helped them get through those times more peacefully.

Learn the skills to communicate in a healthier way.

Sometimes, our (very human) need to fix people has us trying to fix the things that are wrong in our relationships. But if she’s not ready or willing to hear it and change, then there’s nothing you can do. You can’t force someone else into changing their behavior at any faster rate than they’re comfortable with.

These types of conversations can be tough because they often involve talking about something that makes us feel upset or angry—like when she says something out of line—but remember: this is an opportunity for growth! If you learn how to communicate in a way that doesn’t hurt your partner or make her feel attacked, then your relationship will only get stronger from here on out.

Stop reacting to situations and start learning how to respond.

Women are often frustrated by men who react to situations without taking the time to respond.

Reacting is a knee-jerk reaction to a situation but responding is thoughtful and considered. Reactions tend to be short-term solutions that only work for as long as it takes for the situation at hand to pass by (e.g., you want her attention, so you buy her something). Responses are longer-term solutions because they require more thought and planning (e.g., you want her attention, so you improve yourself instead of buying her stuff).

The thing about reacting is it doesn’t always make sense in the long run because our emotions can cloud our judgment when we’re feeling upset or hurt; so instead of reacting impulsively, remember that there are better ways of handling your feelings than just saying whatever comes into mind first!

Become the man you know you can be. The man your family needs you to be.

You’ve probably heard the advice “be your best self.”

Sure, that sounds good on paper, and it may even be one of those things you say to yourself when you feel down, but what does it really mean?

Let me tell you what I mean by being your best self: Be the man that knows what he wants and goes after it. Be the man who is confident in his decisions and doesn’t second guess himself or worry about how others will perceive him. Be a leader who is willing to make tough choices for his family, even if they don’t agree at first because they know in time, they will understand why he did what he did.

Get the tools to be more present in your life, your marriage, and your career.

When you’re present, it’s easier to walk away from temptation and focus on what matters most. You can also connect with others more effectively, leading to better relationships at work and in your community.

So how do we stay present? It starts with understanding what being present means:

  • Being fully engaged in the moment—living life intentionally instead of drifting through it
  • Focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and actions right now rather than worrying about the past or future or other people’s opinions of you
  • Keeping distractions at bay so that you can focus on what truly matters to you

Learn how to live a more fulfilled, purpose-driven life so that you can be the best version of yourself.

Hopefully, you’ve realized that trying to fix your wife’s problems is just a waste of time and energy. You need to stop trying to fix her and start focusing on yourself. If you want the relationship with your wife to be better, then all of your efforts need to go into improving yourself in order for that improvement in communication skills, emotional intelligence and self-discipline will translate into changes between both of you.

One way that I’ve found helps my clients stay focused on their own development as well as improve their relationships with others is meditation. There are many different types of meditation out there, but I recommend starting with something simple like mindfulness meditation where all you do is focus on being present in the moment without judgment or criticism about yourself or others around you.

Share your feelings so you can feel understood, even when you’re going through a tough time.

Your partner may not know that she’s hurting you or making you feel bad—she might just think she’s being herself. But if you’ve been feeling sad lately and trying to get her attention with little hints like “I’m really tired” or “I wish we could spend more time together,” those can make her feel like it’s not okay for her to be herself and have fun without worrying about your feelings.

When she does something that bothers you, it could be because she doesn’t realize how much it upsets you; or maybe she knows how much something upsets you but can’t stop herself from doing it anyway because she thinks what she’s doing is harmless (or helpful!). In any case, hearing this from someone else might help her understand what kind of things are important to keep in mind around the house next time instead of just suddenly realizing after getting yelled at again that day by someone who didn’t appreciate what was going on behind the scenes beforehand!

Create actionable steps toward living your best life.

It’s important to create a plan for how to achieve your goals and to be okay with the fact that it will take some time.

Just like any other goal, you probably won’t get there overnight. You can start by creating a list of things that need to happen in order for you to reach your goal.

Coaching can help you in many ways to make improvements in yourself and your marriage

My Coaching will help you learn to communicate in healthier ways, stop reacting to situations and start responding, get rid of your bad habits, be more present in your life, and teach you how to be a better husband and father. As I teach these things to you over time, I will also work with your wife on her own issues so that she can become the woman that she wants to be.

It’s time to stop trying to fix her and start improving yourself.

You know you can be a better husband. You know you want more from your life than just the daily grind. You want to make changes but are overwhelmed by feeling like you need the skills to dig yourself out of this hole.

Having a coach will help you learn new skills that will allow you to become the best version of yourself, which is why coaching has been so successful for so many men like you!

If any of this resonates with where you are at today, then I recommend reaching out for some support too so that I can help guide you through your journey towards living a happier family life.