Last week, I had the chance to visit a wolf sanctuary. As part of 4PC, a global group of coaches led by Rich Litvin, I’ve been through many experiences that push me to grow. But this one stood out.
I’ll be honest. I was nervous. Not because of the wolves, but because of the unknown. I knew it would be freezing, and I wouldn’t have control over my environment. That alone made me uncomfortable. It was a reminder of how much we crave certainty, how we try to manage everything around us to feel safe.
Then I arrived, and everything changed.
The moment I stepped into the sanctuary and heard the howls of 70 wolves, something deep inside me stirred. Their voices were powerful, raw, and ancient. It was like they were calling to something buried in my soul.
As we walked through the sanctuary, I noticed something interesting. Each enclosure held two wolves. They were caged, yet peaceful. Wild, yet calm.
Then came the biggest challenge.
We were invited to enter a wolf den… blindfolded.
The idea was to experience the wolves without seeing them, using only touch, sound, and energy. My first instinct was to ask, How do we know we’ll be safe? The guides assured us that the wolves chosen for this were calm and used to people. Still, I felt uneasy.
Once inside, a wolf walked over to one of the women in our group and started sniffing her long hair. The guide gently corrected the wolf, but it resisted for a moment. I couldn’t see what was happening. My body tensed. I felt vulnerable.
Then, something clicked.
I stopped fighting the discomfort. I let go of control. And in that surrender, I found peace.
A Connection That Needed No Words
At the end of the day, we were given back our phones, and the sanctuary brought out a wolf named Gemma for photos. Everyone crowded around her, eager to take pictures. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Instead, I sat on a bench, quietly watching.
And then, something incredible happened.
Gemma came over and sat down beside me. It felt like she was saying, I see you. I honor you for not shoving a camera in my face.
Later, as she was being led back to her enclosure, she stopped, turned, and walked straight toward me again. It was so clear what she was saying. She was saying thank you, I feel safe with you. She was letting me know that she would be ok with me taking photos with her now because I had held back and honored her before.
What Gemma Taught Me About Life
Gemma showed me something powerful. True connection isn’t forced. It happens when we are open, present, and willing to just be.
Think about your own life.
Where are you pushing too hard?
Where are you trying to control things instead of letting them unfold naturally?
Where could you step back and trust instead of forcing?
The strongest connections, the best opportunities, the most meaningful moments… they don’t come from chasing. They come from allowing. From surrendering and allowing your heart to be open.
Bringing the Lesson Into My Life and Coaching
Since that day at the wolf sanctuary, I’ve been thinking deeply about how this lesson applies not just to my own life, but to the work I do with my clients. Gemma’s quiet, intentional way of connecting reminded me of something powerful: when we stop forcing, we allow space for what is truly meant for us.
As a coach, I work with high-achievers, people who are always striving, always pushing for more. They are go-getters, leaders, and visionaries who want to create success in their businesses, relationships, and personal growth. But sometimes, in that relentless pursuit, they unknowingly repel the very things they desire. They chase love instead of attracting it. They try to control their careers instead of trusting their own skills and instincts. They force outcomes instead of allowing the right opportunities to unfold.
I see it in myself, too.
For years, I believed that more effort meant more success. That if I just worked harder, planned better, and took charge, I could guarantee the results I wanted. But the truth is, the most beautiful, transformative moments in my life have come not from chasing, but from being present.
How I’m Applying This Lesson
In my own life, I’m learning to let go of unnecessary control. That doesn’t mean I stop showing up, working hard, or setting intentions. It means I trust the process instead of constantly trying to control it.
- In my relationships, I am practicing listening more. Letting people come to me instead of always feeling like I need to be the one driving the conversation.
- In my business, I am embracing the idea that the right clients will find me when I show up in my truth, rather than trying to “convince” people to work with me.
- In my personal growth, I am leaning into curiosity over certainty. Instead of needing every answer right now, I am allowing myself to explore, question, and discover at the right pace.
How This Can Help You
If you’re feeling like you have to force things to happen—whether in your career, relationships, or personal development—I want to invite you to step back for a moment.
Where in your life are you pushing too hard?
Where are you holding onto control so tightly that you’re blocking the natural flow of things?
Where could you soften, trust, and let things unfold instead?
The best connections, the biggest breakthroughs, and the most fulfilling experiences in life don’t come from forcing. They come when we show up as our true selves, stay open, and trust that the right things will meet us there.
Gemma knew this. And now, I’m bringing this wisdom into my coaching, my relationships, and my life.
And now, I pass it on to you.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How are you learning to let go and trust more in your own journey?