Have you ever experienced a painful breakup? Well, that should not be the question in this case. You and I have probably experienced a breakup with a romantic partner, and more often than not, these experiences are so painful that we refuse to let them go. Unfortunately, women tend to be the major victims during marriage or relationship breakups, especially if they are raising children.
You are most likely to bring up your child/children as a woman if you broke up with your husband or boyfriend. Financial difficulties make things even worse when a husband or boyfriend leaves you responsible for raising the child or kids you have had with him.
However, the presence of both you and your ex-husband in the life of your child or kids is more important than money.
The first and most obvious reason why you should end your bitterness against your ex-husband is that he remains to be the father of your child/children. Remember, children need to experience love and attention from both of you. This means that they should have access to their father at any given time as much as they are close to you. So in this sense, putting aside your bitterness against him for whatever reason is beneficial to your child/children since you will now relate well with him for the best interests of your children.
The other primary reason you should eliminate your hatred against your ex-boyfriend or husband is to set a good example for your children. Different sociological theories have pointed out that children tend to imitate the behaviors of the people around them when they grow up. Therefore, if you teach your children to respect their father, your ex-partner, they are also likely to respect other people in society when they grow up. Notably, your child has his/her life to live as much as your personal life. In this sense, your failures or personal challenges should not affect the life of your beautiful daughter or son.
The other most important reason we should stay calm after breaking up with our spouses is to allow our children to love us without comparing us. It is unfortunate to have had a problematic ex-husband, but you surely do not wish your child to hate him or struggle to choose to love only one of you. Experts also add that we should never criticize our spouses before our kids. It would be better to save this negative energy to use it in other beneficial ways. Showing our children how to handle our emotions positively would be crucial for teaching them how to respond to different challenges they may face in their future lives.
What is my responsibility as a divorced or separated mother? You might ask yourself this question repeatedly since you do not wish your child experiences the challenges you have faced. However, the answer is simple; prioritize your child’s best interests in every situation. Be the person to ensure they get the best of their needs, and always remember that they are watching and learning! Your child needs a complete family to live a happy life; they need love and attention, good role models, and protection from anything physical or emotional that may harm them.